Well intended avenues: a digital platform, stage, studio, or pulpit. A chorus proclaiming and voicing, rebuking and shunning, teaching and lecturing; noises in unison, all together distracting. I too desire to speak among the crowd, but I am drowned by the volume. Bitterness swelling greatly; it is a wave of sin pouring over what the Spirit is yielding within me. I wrote for hours of vision, plans, great hopes: hopes of successful change to a boisterous electronic community. Ignorantly stepping backwards in my own futile attempts, ignoring the necessity of Christ, the perfector of faith, working within.
I wish to inspire. I wish to embark on a quest for change. It is an outpouring of my heart to spread the joys of Christ’s evidences in our lives.
Not my platform, Father, but yours to speak in each of us.
Not my stage, Father, but yours to sing a glorious song of redemption in a fallen world through poetic words.
Not my studio, Father, but your common grace to us found in how we can creatively and universally share your goodness.
Not my pulpit, Father, but yours, for Christ is our High Priest.
Hope is swelling greatly, pouring over my sinfully based attempts. I am lifted up, not to inspire, but because I am inspired. Obediently pressing forward amidst well intended avenues. Prayerfully writing in hopes to bring about a creative outlet of acknowledging God’s presence and the Holy Spirit’s careful unraveling of my nature. I ask for a quietness in my thoughts to unearth the hidden mess within me. Creatively inspire us Lord to acknowledge your presence in life with full obedience and joy.
Just finished reading your posts. You are a fantastic writer! Thank you so much for sharing your heart, Dolly. God really used this to speak to me.
ReplyDeleteI love this, Dolly. Is this about the tension over writing authentically on your blog and guarding yourself from finding your identity and self worth in how well your words are received? If so, I struggle with this intensely.
ReplyDeleteYes Wendy, this is one of many struggles. I do want the content to be received well, but I hope that through prayer I can relinquish myself and allow the Lord to speak despite my words or efforts, while maintaining authenticity. It is a learning process :)
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